your unhappiness about not getting regular oral sex is just immature and ridiculous. Since when does that show a man he is appreciated? Usually it's reciprocal and had you nurtured the relationship, that may have become so. If you felt you were making the wrong choice in this marriage then the right thing to have done was to NOT to have married her, don't you think? Now you have a child involved! Grow up and be a man and go into therapy trying to figure out how you can rectify this situation. It's really not all about you, unless, of course, you are a narcissist? Maybe that is what you can tell her to save your marriage and your family.