Then it's a good thing you nearly cried in front of T today! May it be just the little beginning of unashamed release for you, Learningtolive!

I used to be unable to cry in front of anyone, even not much on my own. Yes, I had been put down and even made to suffer more for crying in my past. When I saw that that was contributing to my bouts of debilitating depression I started to try to urge the crying feeling past the automatic block that would come up - I had to get past it feeling forced, and it would dry up immediately if someone touched me.

After some T and effort and time I was able to do much crying on my own (there was lots of pain and trauma and loss to recover from), and eventually was able to cry with close others when I hurt. It can be encouraging/healing to have someone feel for you and hold you when you're feeling/releasing pain...