Quote:
Originally Posted by Bloem
I know exactly what you mean, you think everything is going well and that you have found balance. That you are healing and then something happens that you do not understand or can not place for yourself. Often when I'm not really aware of the others I go to 'fast'. And than 'out of nowhere' something happens, or i get angry.
My t told me that it is important to also involve the other parts, and that i should check with them how they are doing. Also when I feel that it goes good. You can not pretend you're alone, because you're not. In my case, if i live along the others they 'come back' extremely. to make me aware or their presence. I may think it goes well and learning skills, but that does not mean that the others are at the same 'height', learning the same skills.
It is important to involve the others in your process because some parts are younger and less skilled than you are. My system is so shaped that when in doubt or setback, action must be taken.
Do you know how your system works? and do you know how it goes with everyone? If they learn the same skills as you?
Bloem
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Thanks, Bloem!
It helps knowing I'm not the only one who deals with this. There are two alters, both adults where when they come out, I sometimes can't tell I've switched until afterward. They are able to handle adult situations, and very good at going about life without thinking of all the issues and trauma that need to be healed. It's like when they're around all of that never existed. Then I switch back and I'm like, oh yes, there it all is.
My system is set up where there are three of us who can function well as adults, and who have a lot of skills to distract, keep busy, etc. I'm the only adult who can feel the others and feel the painful parts of life as well. I also have another 'adult' ish one who is complete negative everything, and very demoralizing. The rest (3 right now) are children and only have a small capacity to deal with issues. It feels like the more skills I learn, the more distance there is between what I know and what they know.
I know for me, in order to move forward with the healing, I need to start owning their emotions. But after a lifetime of pushing them away it's difficult to let myself feel those emotions, and even harder to process them/deal with them alone, without switching to the other parts to feel them for me.
I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.
