Something which I wonder sometimes is after school, will I become like hikikomori? I have no friends... and on a day by day basis I just feel like crap 90% of the time. If someone invites me somewhere, I say no because I'm scared of looking like a complete idiot, like I always do when I interact with people. My whole family just sees the as "Me"; but I haven't felt like myself in a long time.. I want things to get better.. but I don't know what to do. There's a free youth mental health clinic in my town, but it could take them a long time to get me in, and, what if they can't help me, or something goes wrong.. this isn't a no risk thing for me. If I go there and for whatever reason something goes wrong, than I'll feel like crap for months because of that. I guess that's why people become hikikomori... because they are too afraid to do anything which could possibly help them. But that's how I feel right now..