Quote:
Originally Posted by anna_goth27
I know I have low self-esteem and I am now realizing that as a result, Ive done some minor things that ended up making me into the last person I wanted to become.
The whole vision Ive always had about myself being a good person despite everything else has been shattered and I am finding myself having to rexamine every motive and action I take. I feel as if everything Ive been doing is totally wrong and hopeless enough that I feel I dont know how I am ever gonna remedy the mistakes Ive made so that things can go back to being OK.
My question is though, lately my own self-deprecating ways have caused me to feel guilty about everything good I have in my life. Like something as simple as wanting to buy a new dress, this guilty feeling builds up and in my mind I start to talk myself out of buying it, not because I cant afford it or because I am using money I should be using elsewhere, but because I dont feel I deserve it. And if I do buy it, for brief moment I feel good and then its right back down to the point where I have to fight the urge to return it.
Do any of you guys encounter this and how do you cope with it?
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The first step is to realize that feelings of guilt were programmed in order to accomplish something. Usually, if guilt just a reaction, but doesn't make you a better person, it's useless. Maybe you could start telling yourself that your guilt is useless since it's not making you into a better person. There is no need for it in this case.
Or maybe you should start to tell yourself every day that guilt makes you even worse because you can't spread your wings and be the best you could be if you feel guilty.
Forgive your self. Tell yourself: what's the point of holding a grudge about past mistakes when the best teachers and teaching of the world teach forgiveness. Forgiveness is beautiful. Unforgiveness is a decease.
Maybe your mind right now thinks that it's noble of you to think that you don't deserve something. But think about it, would you say this to another person? Wouldn't you forgive them for their mistakes if they are now trying to be better? Wouldn't you be a harsh person if you did not forgive and just told them: you don't deserve a second chance. Forget you. Suffer.
That's is not beuatiful. No one teaches to do that. So tell yourself that if you want to become better, the first step to to learn to forgive. And the first step, is to forgive yourself. And say: well, I may not deserve it, but fate is beautiful and gracious and is giving it to me anyways. It's giving me a second chance. It's giving me love. It's a good example for me. I should also show love to those who don't deserve or give a second chance to those who try to change. And I should start with myself.
Seriously, wouldn't you rather be a beautiful person and comfort others (or self) when they regret their mistakes? Do yourself a favor, be gracious to yourself. That is what the great teachings teach us.
Why? Because forgiveness brings life. Guilt and accusations bring death. It serves no purpose unless it's making a person better. Actually, it destroys a person (as you have experienced). So it's to be avoided. Forgiveness is the thing to strive for. Forgiveness for SELF and others.
We are all human. All of us make mistakes. To err is human, to forgive divine.
Teach this to your mind daily, try to convince it, and maybe one day you will start to believe it and then your guilt will disappear and will be replaced with gracious acceptance of your self, with its mistakes and all.