Thank you for those words you guys. Sometimes gotta remind yourself about stuff.

I guess the fact that I had made some of the same mistakes more than once is why I get so hard on myself, because I think of what other people might think and that is that they deserve to not forgive me since I cant seem to do better.

I honestly try to do my best, I am usually the first on letting things that people roll off my back or try to be understanding and forgiving once they explain themselves, but I always find it so difficult to do it for myself.

I think once I am able to fully forgive myself for things that are out of my control, I could finally get myself moving forward to my building up my self-esteem. I have just been feeling so bad lately, especially after what someone said to me about beiing careful about the seeds I plant, not just because their fruits might affect me directly, but because it can affect the generations after me. That terrifies me. To think that I may be messing up my (hopefully) future kids' lives because I cant get myself together and my constant need for validation has caused me to do things wrong.


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