Wow, thank you I just hope I haven't wasted the last 9 months trying to make it work out with this T /:

I hope I didn't scare you. Chances are your situation is different than mine. I think most t's are not like my last one. I think it is just something to think about if your t continues to scare you once you try ask questions like this a few times.

I mean, idk if I would be this way with any T

Now that I've been to a lot of t's, I think there's so much variety between them that the relationship with each one is really different.

or if its just not a good fit. It may be a combination of both.....he isn't judgmental per say, I'm hyper vigilant. But he is more blank screen like and sometimes I sense he is frustrated sooooo.....idk how much is real and how much I project. It is super painful for me and I'm the type of person who pushes through the pain and then doesn't even feel the pain until it is *very* deep....like I've been deadened to it until it hits the nerve.

He is in some ways very caring and apparently compassionate and yet.....I *am* scared of him and its hard to ask him questions.....I'll work on that

I hope it goes well