Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
It's because I want something to hold on to at the end of the day when I re-analyze everything. I can feel the love in the moment that she looks at me, but the minute she leaves and I want to feel loved again, I start to think that maybe I didn't read her right and the love I felt was a false production of my own mind and she doesn't actually care. If she said "I love you", then I at least have that to use as evidence that she does even if the words are near meaningless to me. That and physical touch. She pats me on the back and I feel cared for for hours. Easy things I can quickly identify as evidence.
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I think what you're expressing is about object constancy. Hearing the words, in that case, won't be any more tangible than your memory of her looking at you. You would probably analyse them in a way that would discredit the power you think they'd have. The fact that you can experience and trust her caring during sessions is fantastic. I think Scarlet's idea is a really good one: parents give their children transitional objects, especially when they go to sleep, for a similar reason--it addresses that empty insecurity/fear. Building object constancy is a process that waxes and wanes --try to be patient with yourself.
