Okay, so I just posted my new member thread, and decided now is as good a time as any to post why I am here. I don't want to sound whiney, or like I think I have the worst life ever so please don't think that.

I supposed I should start with a little bit of my history. I'm 25, I'm a female. I grew up in a house where my father was emotionally, and mentally abusive. To the severe of it. I also have health problems which seemed to of course make the abuse worse. I had a wonderful, compassionate mother. We left my father when I was 11, but of course the damage was done rather anyone new it or not.

My mother and I are very close. She went to nursing school while raising, and home schooling me. When I entered the teenage years my father wanted a relationship, and for some reason he was granted visitation. The emotional abuse worsened as I aged with shots at my sexuality being his favorite. Apparently having a 13 year old more interested in books than boys wasn't right.

I was a strong person I got it from my mother, and I survived. I didn't let it break me completely. As I morphed into my later teenage years I went slightly out of control. Not, the worst, but I enjoyed smoking, drinking, swearing and etc. My mother was a devout Christian woman, and I was raised to be better, but I suppose deep down I was running from my past.

I met a young man he turned out to be perfect for me in everyway. He was 16 days older than I was we had a mutual friend who set us up, and we clicked. He could deal with the issues I had health wise, and he understood the things that triggered me. Through him I learned that not all men were my father. I learned not everyone wants to hurt me, break me. I struggled with an eating disorder *being that I couldn't eat in public* for years because of my father. This young man worked me passed that.

He had soul custody of his younger brother who was 5 years younger than us. My boyfriend and I became instantly close due to our common interests, and that his father was abusive as well. Together we raised his brother. I adopted the boy as if he were my very own, and loved him more that I ever loved anyone in my life. I put 100% into that kid, and I love him.

My life for the past few years was raising this boy, I got him at the age of 13 which was a tough age for any kid. I would pick him up from school everyday, make him a snack, make him dinner, help him with homework, get his clothes clean and laid out for the next day, then do it all again. 24/7 I was a mother to an orphan, that had physical disabilities. His physical disabilities prevent him from playing sports, looking normal, and affect his emotions easily. I suffered through the tantrums, the moods, the hospital visits.

I can easily recall many nights staying up to make sure he was breathing while he slept, I can remember picking up from school deathly sick praying to God he held on a little longer. I can remember sleeping on hospital floors because I couldn't leave him. When he got his first job at 16 I was happy for him, and slightly relieved to have a few hours a day to myself.

Of course nothing lasts, and it wasn't long before his disabilities made work near impossible. Then one day while he was at work, and I was having a rare girls day out I go a phone call he was in the ER. He cut his arm off, and his brother was in NY. Someone had to go, so I rushed away from everything, and went. I sat by his bed crying, begging God to just keep him alive. He was rushed from hospital to hospital, and everyone said that if he survived his arm wouldn't. I held his hand, and saw the wound. I heard him crying, and I would have traded places with him in a heartbeat. They saved his arm, but mobility, and strength in it are next to nothing. Relieved I brought him home and for the next 8 months had to keep him preoccupied because he couldn't move his hand or arm. He's a restless kid he likes to be active, and keeping him still was a battle everyday.

He had massive surgery, and they thought he'd be okay. When he and his two best friends decided that their dream was to be a famous fourwheeler racing team I didn't doubt him. He has a talent that would make the angels jealous when he rides, and he loves it. I bought a fourwheeler, my boyfriend and I sponsored them for the first couple races. We even drove them 6 hours and got a hotel room for a big race. They were all so excited, and I had no doubt he could win. He landed wrong broke his arm that had been damaged, and wrecked in front of me. I was there, and I saw it all. I was there when we went back to the doctors, and I cried when he went through a second surgery on his arm I didn't leave him not for weeks out of guilt that I encouraged him to race.

He liked a few different girls all of whom rejected him because he looks funny. That was hard on him, but I was there like always telling him it wasn't him it's their loss. I drove him to endless doctor appointments.

Recently, A girl whom I am related to began dating a friend of mine. She seemed okay, but I wasn't crazy about her. When she, and my friend broke up she began asking for the number of another friend. My boyfriend informed her that the guy she liked had a fine girlfriend and she said she wanted the number of someone single. My boyfriend gave her his brothers number.
They have been dating 6 months now.

The problem is, I never see him anymore. It started simple enough she would ask to stay overnight at my house, and I said okay because I thought we were friends. *My boyfriend and his brother do not live with me*. She began hanging out with my boyfriends brother, and I was uneasy about it from the start. She was a recovering drug addict, she drank, swore, and had multiple miscarriages. My boyfriend told me not to worry because me, him and his brother were so close. I told her that she couldn't separate us, and she said she could. I thought she was kidding.

It started with little comments, She would say that the boy didn't want me helping him pack his bags to race anymore because it was embarrassing and he wanted her too. She said that he blamed me for things *one time his fourwheeler wouldn't start after I rode it* She said that he told her I was stupid, and broke it. She said that he told her he hated me and I was stupid, that he didn't want me at the races anymore, that he didn't want me around, that he was tired of me treating him like a little boy when he's not.
I tried to ignore her, but she got more, and more vicious until I would cry all day at the races, and then my health spiraled out of control. I got sick violently sick.

My boyfriend told his brother what was going on, and that she had to go. He was hurt, and said that he wished he knew sooner. He also denied ever saying anything that she claimed he had. He said he loved me, and I was everything to him he would never say something like that. I said I didn't want her in my house ever again. Since that day I haven't seen him.
They go places that he, and I used to go. I'm not invited, they have parties, go riding, go on dates. I know nothing about him or his life. It has been months since I have seen him. I have texted him, and tried to reach out only to get no reply. She told everyone that I threw him out of my life because he wants to move in with her and I said no. The discussion of him moving in with her never came up, and I know this is a lie.

It hurts, because I devoted my life to him for the past years, and he walked away. My health continues to fail, but he does nothing, says nothing. I see pictures of him and her on facebook, and usually when I text him she has his phone she deleted the messages without showing or telling him. He won't leave her because he says she makes him happy, but I'm afraid that when he turns 21 she will have him drinking or worse. I gave up drinking, and smoking when he came into my life I know it's hard to kick. I'm also afraid she will get pregnant on purpose, and I know he'll do the right thing by her because he's a good man.

My boyfriend tries to be supportive, but is torn between the woman he wants to be his wife, and the brother he raised as a son. The boy is still nice, and talks to his brother daily. He refuses to talk to or visit me, he said that he heard I didn't want him anymore, and I was mad. I have tried to tell him this is not true. He's the only person in my life I could never be angry at, I love him more than anyone. His birthday is coming up if there is a party I am not invited, I usually make the cake. The holidays are approaching, and I'm not even sure if he's coming for dinner or if we are doing gifts at Christmas. I want to reach out, but I'm tired or there being no response. I can't walk away from him after all this time, because I'm nothing without him.

I go through life on auto=pilot like a zombie every little thing reminding me of him. He became really popular in our town and at a few race tracks. He has the talent, and people are starting to recognize him his next big race is in February it's on my birthday over the weekend. My boyfriend has to go, and I'd like to, but I'll have to be with his girlfriend as well, and honestly if I didn't go I'm not sure he'd notice. It hurts that I pushed him this far, and she's getting the results. I want so much more for him than this, but she has him blinded.

He never thought he'd get a girlfriend, and now he doesn't want to be alone. I know she makes him happy, but the fact is she's cutting him off from everyone. She's a liar, a cheat, a *****, and his life will be ruined if he stays with her. I don't know what to do anymore so I stumbled half dead into this place praying that someone can encourage my heart, and give me hope.