Hi! Some of you have responded to posts about working on my past (had and affair) and have been very helpful and kind. During that time period (over 2 years ago) I had a group of friends that were wild and crazy and a large part of our lives consisted of partying which led to myself and others to hurt their loved ones (other affairs took place). My fiance and I moved away shortly after (not because of), got married, and are in a totally different place now- physically and mentally. I have not really seen or talked to anyone from that group for over a year except for one girl who I was close to for years before everything went bad. It is hard because my husband is uncomfortable with me staying in contact with her as am I. It just brings back painful memories despite all of the good times throughout the years.

She emailed me last night and told me she'd be in town for the weekend and asked if we could get together. I said no and explained that it is just really difficult for me (and my husband) for me to get close with her again and that I'm not sure if I ever will be able to. Well, she says that she understands but is really hurt by words and feels as though I'm blaming her for what happened. I don't blame her or anyone else but at the same time, I feel that had I not been in that situation, surrounded by so much chaos and damaging behavior, I would not have engaged in it myself. And I fully think my husband believes that as well and that is why he would also prefer if we just move on and that I not stay connected to that past. I don't feel like I need that particular friendship in my life, although I'm sure she's changed for the better as well. I just feel bad and guilty (here's the guilt again!) about dropping a friendship because I can't deal.

Any thoughts??????