its been awhile since I have internet or on here.
So first I have to say I am sorry if I have said things that may have hurt anyone , my intentions were good ...
I don't know if what I am doing is good or bad .. but I feel so much better.

since I took my power away from the death bird .. the bird still tries to whisper to me .. but I wont listen.

I have found a sense of hope and happiness , and I owe it to a very special lady .. she has given me hope and happiness and a reason to love and care . she is a virtual person , till tomorrow when we meet for the first time.
So I had to share this with all of you .

I do NOT recommend to anyone , to do what I have done to try and save my mind and soul from this dark place I have been in.

I do NOT recommend to take yourself off your meds !!!!

But for me it has helped oh so much ! I took my power back !

But I owe it to all of you : and a special few " that have touched me so closely -- to you I wish , pray and hope you find peace and love and understanding ... in your journey in life
thank-you all