One of the things that makes me feel better here is to realize that my symptoms are not so different from the symptoms of the others around here. There are many times I doubt I have depression and I fear to have something else because I don't have all the symptoms, I have things that don't come in those symptoms lists, and meds didn't work on me.
They say, for you to be depressed, you need to feel hopelless and sad, but I can't stop dreaming and fantasazing, so, even I can't make a move to get help, and I'm allways waiting for someone to reach me, even I had tried during years to talk with someone about my disease, I can't stop picturing my self doing great. I don't know if it is hope but it isn't hopelless. I also don't have late insonia or hipersonia, or eating problems. Dispate during the weak, when I have to get up early it takes long to start sleeping, but I know it is a psycological thing because I go to bed and I start getting worried about if I will sleep. I am allways tired and I know if I don't get the right amount of sleep I will get even less energy to study and do my paperworks. But at the weakend I sleep fine.
Well, I guess no one relates to me. It's not like I don't have negative thoughs, I have lots of them, specialy when I have exams and evaluations, when I interact with people. When I think about me working in the future. I know if I stay the way I am. I will have a not great future. But I can't stop dreaming and it is easy to forget reality and feel somewhat normal when I don't have nothing to do.
I will not write more because I know you get tired of read it too.