Growlighting...you´re an inpatient who gets to spend hours a day with a T and are attending a group too. Why don´t you try to make the best of it, by talking to the professionals about these issues instead? This is a peer support forum, but I am sure your treatment providers would be interested in these thoughts too. How can they possible evaluate/help you if you get the answers and tons of open questions that may affect you one way or the other in here. I am NOT saying not to post. I am just not sure it´s that healthy in the long run, while recieving intensive inpatient treatment. Theres a difference between asking for support and trying to get help in here.