As a guy myself and acknowledging that our 'pride' can be easily hurt if we let it, I would say that yes - let your wife do a lot of the talking... and this is the biggie - "don't interrupt her or argue with what she is saying"... it might even be helpful to suggest yourself stepping out while she talks so that she can give her side of things without feeling pressured or afraid.

Personally, I'd like to commend you for being completely frank with us and not pulling the punches with what you've said and done. It is easy to give half of the story for the sympathy vote... and you didn't do that, so good for you. In this regard you have identified what you've done and despite others saying the contrary, it's evident that you know you were being very unfair to your other half... now you have to face the hard steps of rectifying that.

I wish you the best of luck... life and attitude is not set in stone and there is always room for change if you allow it.