That makes perfect sense. I think you're asking the right question. I'm just not entirely convinced words are the answer. I think you would interpret words in exactly the same way - think of them as a false production of your own mind and suchlike.

She pats you on the back and you feel cared for. That's great, but it's made me wonder something: do you want her to say she cares for you to give you permission to interpret her caring as caring? Are you looking for external validation of your experiences of her caring for you as you don't trust yourself?

I feel sad that you've been so discouraged from having stuffed animals. I'm 32 and I still have some. One of them lives in my living room, by the sofa, and nobody has ever laughed at it. I don't think anyone would laugh at you. I'm sorry your mother said that. She was wrong.