I'm sorry you have such a hard relationship with your mom. I know it's important to you that you had a better relationship. But, the thing is, it's not your fault your relationship with her. From the things you say she has some issues of her own it seems and maybe doesn't deal with them, which makes her not such a good mom. But, it's not your fault at all.

Don't regret telling her, even though she reacted bad. Because, you know, you're doing yoru part to reach out and be a good daughter and share your thoughts and experiences with her. Which is exactly the point of having parents.... You didn't do anything wrong telling her.

See... like with my dad, it eventually got to a point where I didn't tell him a lot of things. He never knew I was diagnosed with bipolar. He never knew all the stuff I had been through. Because, you know, I knew he would react badly either in dismissing, freaking out, or lecturing.... so... I just gave up... but, I still wished I could tell him and wished he would just be a dad instead of have to put his own stuff into it. You know?