Wow, this is like deja vu all over again.

My son fell in love during high school with a beautiful, talented and creative girl, and he was over the moon with happiness. Her mother was a meth addict and, if she wasn't crazy before, she certainly was by the time we met her. One time she pulled a gun on my son and held it to his head (he didn't tell us about this incident until years later).

After throwing away scholarships and college, doing everything he could to save his "soul mate," she ended up running off with another guy (they had been together 3 years at this point).

They never married but my son is still mourning the relationship. During the years he was together with her, he broke all communication with us and blamed all problems on me and his father. Our relationship with him has not yet really mended. He believes she is schizophrenic and that somehow one of us should have dragged her into treatment.

All I can say is, I hope the relationship breaks up and your brother in law/stepson will see that you were really there for him all the time. Young men take an awfully long time growing up. Don't give up hope. None of this is your fault.