This thread is probably self-indulgent, but I guess that happens sometimes. Tomorrow will be my 14th day of non-stop work. I've had problems, increasing everyday. My job rips away my short term memory and gives me much, much too much time to think, to dwell, to get upset, but I've survived the longest stretch I've had in a while.

About three days ago, in order to continue, I entered a phase of no emotion. Absolutely nothing. They've tried to come out a few times, but I'm in a form of survival mode in which emotions would only keep me from my work, so they've been tucked inside. That along with a gigantic amount of mindfulness/meditation and a friend or two has allowed me to survive.

Now I am scared. Tomorrow is it. I will finally be able to relax my frayed mind and exhausted body, and all of the emotions will come spilling out. I will be a total disaster for 24-48 hours, and I don't know a darn thing I can do about it. It's happened many times before.

I guess I'm asking for words of encouragement and support. Don't be surprised if I come forward with a depressing, crisis-filled thread over the weekend. Maybe I can somehow avoid reaching that point. I sure hope so...but I'm very, very scared.

I was actually supposed to work until Thanksgiving Day. I'm taking off a few days early. I have an idea for a small at-home business. After I recover, it's going to be my focus. Wish me luck. I have to get out of this job. I need to make this succeed.