But wouldn't she be more disappointed if you flake out on therapy too? I hear you though, I'm going through a similar type struggle myself, just not with alcohol. Having my T is very motivating, but also makes it more embarrassing and noticeable when I mess up and show that I cant control myself. I want to make T proud, yep that sounds pathetic but it's true. I'm going to therapy tomorrow too. If it makes you feel better, I am all prepped up for a super awkward one myself. I keep reminding myself though, T's must see crazy people all day so I have some wiggle room to make mistakes. Did you learn anything? Maybe something good can come of the experience...