I very strongly believe that I am not bipolar, as I identify much more with the way people describe BPD, for example:

- history of cutting, reckless/dangerous sex
- history of violence towards others as a means of coping with rage - beginning as early as 2 I had a biting/scratching problem, which turned into biting/hitting when I was older, especially when I felt I was being ignored/abandoned (although I haven't been violent in the past 2 years)
- semi-authentic suicide attempts to get attention, or when someone broke up with me
- extreme moods that can fluctuate in a matter of minutes (though these days I don't experience rage as much as irritability)
- mistrust of others, at times leading to paranoid thoughts that a friend or partner is trying to poison me, or is conspiring to betray me
- extreme fear of being betrayed/jealousy
- at the same time, periods of extreme ambivalence or even disgust towards my partner or friends, which leads me to feel completely unattached and like not only do I not know them at all, but I don't care if I ever see them again
- problems with object constancy
- history of debilitating panic disorder (not any more)
- history of OCD
- fall in love instantly/obsessively and then get bored really easily
-sense that I am an actor or somehow 'fake'

However, while I identify very strongly with the sense of being somehow incomplete, or made up by my activities and not an actual self, I no longer find myself depressed for more than a couple hours at a time. This usually results in me acting (very uncharacteristically) like a 3 year old crumpled up sobbing and cutting myself on the bathroom floor, but then it just totally vanishes. The rest of the time I am just anxious, irritable, but also very 'full of life'