Right now I feel like I'm not experiencing any extremes of highs or lows. But I'm not sure and am worried that maybe I am and just can't tell anymore. I still have bad/unhealthy behaviours & symptoms going on at the moment such as too much sleep, followed by not enough sleep, isolation, avoidance, shoplifting, speeding (in my car), recreational substance abuse, lack of energy, lack of motivation, no appetite, not looking after myself, self-medicating, avoiding chores and responsibilities, no hobbies or enjoyable activities, no friends. This is just listing probably the main ones. So what I am trying to say is that I'm scared that I'm not self-aware of when I'm in the middle of an episode anymore, like I used to be. This also leads on to me worrying that if it is is the case, maybe my BP is worsening.
From other peoples' knowledge and experience is this maybe what is happening? Just so confused about where I'm at in my head at the moment. Any thoughts or feedback?