hmmmm... for me i wouldnt say surprise. i guess i meant it seems it warps your sense of identity and so many aspects of the way you relate to others and yourself. its like it takes you off the 'normal' developmental path you should be on and makes things go a bit skew-ways.
for me it was 'hey whats for dinner' (me to mum); 'what did you make?' (dad). which had a negative impact on me that im not trying to decode and i think it means 'youre useless, lazy, spoilt ie given more than you deserve, ungrateful...'
i do feel all those things and the only reason i can think of that i feel all those things (and other things attached to other comments/incidents etc) is because of growing up with that. i wonder if it explains that feeling of ... whatever that horrible 'i hate me' sort of feeling i have inside is.
the only other possible answer is i am actually all those things... i dont know which is true. my mind changes with my mood all the time.
its encouraging i guess that you think therapy can 'fix' this. this is why i keep going.
thanks for your thoughts on this perna
take care
biiv