Hi MiguelsMum. I would love to get my makeup tattoo'd on but I don't trust anybody to get it right. I'm terrified of a botched job and looking like a freak. Good luck to you MM. I too get lost in mirrors. I lose time when I gaze into a mirror, analysing everything. I used to be worse - any shiny surface I would have to look in. If I didn't like my reflection as I walked past a shop window I would have a panic attack and want to go home to change clothes to make the grossness go away. I look at myself in the reflection of peoples' glasses.

I have to force myself not to excessively check myself out in the car rearview mirror. Sometimes when I'm driving if I see a flaw in the mirror I will get makeup out while I'm driving and fix up whatever the perceived flaw is. I can't wait till I get where I'm going in case someone sees me looking ugly. Even when I'm by myself at home I will touch up my makeup, excessively apply lipgloss, and I have a bad habit of picking any lump or bump on my skin till it bleedes or gets infected. I have used tweezers and nail clippers to cut out any irregularities in my skin, again causing injury.

When I first sit down in front of the mirror to put my makeup on I deliberately put my eyes out of focus so I can't see myself clearly until at least the basics of my face are done. Not until I have foundation, powder and eyebrows on can I look at myself and even then I think I look hideous until I have eyelashes, lips and eyeliner on. I will not answer the door if I don't look perfect so I hate unexpected guests. I hate with a passion when people say I look fine or even worse "better" without makeup. I think they are either lying, can't see properly the way I can or don't care enough to tell me the truth.
How can others not see what I see? I know there must be other perfectionists out there and I worry that people who are critical of looks will see me and judge me. This all sounds so toally self-absorbed as I type it out. I'm very embarassed to admit all of this but I'm talking about it to educate others and to open up to try to understand it and how I can maybe change. i know many other people must have it undiagnosed so I'm hoping that those of you who see yourself in some of the thigs that I do will get yourselves checked out and possible diagnosed with it so you can get treatment. Good luck to those of you who do have it.