I am terribly sorry that you are going through this. You sound like a true gem of all of the love and care you gave to him since he was a child.

I tend to think the girlfriend is trying to cut off your relationship with him. And he is head over heels "in love" or truly loves her. That is out of your hands. I can't imagine how awful it is to see him throwing his life down the tubes with this girl - if she gets pregnant, etc. But I think it is out of your hands and your relationship with your husband will be conflicted if you try to get in the middle of things. (I hope that make sense?)

One thing that you can do is to continue to unconditionally love him. Like you always have loved him since he was 13. He knows that you love him. He does. He is still a very young man and is swept away by the girlfriend. He needs to grow and his relationship with her in the future is unknown at this point. But regardless, you will always love him no matter who is with, their behavior, etc.

I think going to the races is a great idea, sending holiday and birthday cards...whatever level of reaching out without "interfering" would be...your husband may have suggestions on this.

And, don't forget about you! You sound like a fantastic person. You deserve the best and pat yourself on the back.