Hey there. I'm a New Yorker too and around your age. I've suffered from anxiety and intrusive thoughts since I was a boy and combined with ADHD, it lead to depression so I can sort of relate to you.

Do you get any exercise throughout the day? I find that lifting weights, running, etc... make me feel better and help with getting the dark thoughts out of my head. Any hobbies, friends, or interests to keep you occupied?

Also, that's a terrible loss you went through. Did you ever have anyone close like family to speak with about your father?