I think this is a great time for you to talk to a therapist. Alone. Sort your feelings out. You've been married long enough to know if you want to stay in the marriage or get out. I think leaving things in limbo will be harsh on everyone.

You are a unique human being with your own needs and personality. It's OK to be attracted to someone else - I'd just recommend that you talk to a therapist about your marriage. And if you want to work on the marriage and stay married - ask your husband to go to couples counseling with you. If he won't then he isn't willing to work on the marriage and I think that will be a green light for you to move on.

I recommend keeping the intensity low with the guy you are attracted to...talk to a therapist, etc. If you leave your husband, it should be because you want out of the marriage...period. Boyfriend or no boyfriend. Hopefully your friend will "be there" if you divorce...but who knows as that is in the future.

I took a huge leap and left my husband after being married 16 years, together 20 years. I am much happier now ... I went through my own therapy and we attempted marriage counseling ... he lied in therapy and refused to go after 5 sessions. That told me things would not change. If this sounds like your husband - know there is a new, better life out there for you. Take care.