You are not the cause of your brother's issues, if that is what he is implying. If you are 30 I suppose he is near your age ... means he is an adult and now responsible (or should be) for his own issues. Most of us who grew up with siblings were not necessarily kind to one another - I know my sister and I had our issues but I don't hold her responsible for my outcomes and I think she feels the same.

Be gentle with yourself, if possible. As for the uncle, you can always say 'thanks for the advice' and then do what you think is right for you. Might keep him off your back. Hugs. Family is exasperating at times.