I contacted his parents today........spoke to his dad....the first thing he asked was how I got on with my scan....I explained that the baby's growth was good and that I was contacting them as I could not get hold of my their son to let him know about the scan and that I had found out the sex of the baby.

I apologised for contacting them, his father said you must contact us anytime you want.....I explained that their son's mobile was constantly switched off and that I had text him and he had not replied and called and phone was off. His father said that the phone was switched off and that his son was very poorly.......he was knocked sideways by what had happened and was staying with friends......they hadn't seen him since he had contacted them last week......however they were expecting to see him sometime over the weekend.........by poorly they mean depressed.

I explained that I didn't know if they wanted to be kept up to date about the baby and scans etc and his father said yes of course they did and I said that I didn't know whether their son did and I had no other way of contacting him apart from through them and his father said that he thought his son would want to be kept informed and that he would pass on the message when they had contact with him this weekend.

I also explained that I had thought their son was coming to see me last Monday as he had arranged it on sunday evening when he had called me from their home and that he had not arrived and I had spoken with his wife and gone to the flat on wednesday as I had been really concerned, as had his mother, and his father said that he was not aware that his son had made any arrangements to come and talk to me.

His father said that he hoped his son and I could work things out and we could be as we were before. He and his wife did not wish to come in between us both. I repeated that I did not wish to contact them but I had as I could not contact their son and he repeated that I should contact them any time I wanted. They wanted me to call them anytime. I said that if their son wanted to call me, even if he didn't want to speak about us, but just wanted to be updated about the baby then I would leave it to him to decide. He thanked me and said that he was sure that his son would want that and he would speak with him.

I can do no more now......my family are still angry......I was too if I am honest ......I understand he may feel depressed and want to stay at friends so that he doesn't have to face things and come and sort things with me, however he could have contacted me to see if the baby was ok ......at some point in his life he will become a father and have to learn to put his child first.......is it that I am already a mother and have learn't this??? I could quite easily be consumed with everything......I am having panic attacks at facing things on my own and thinking that he is with another woman and may not make any contact with me whatsoever.........however, I cannot let it take over me as I have to function for the sake of my other children and that of my unborn baby......am I being so unempathetic???? sympathetic??? that I do not understand what he is going through??? I did not tell his family this and they seemed oblivious to the fact that I would be feeling this way. His father just said that his son was poorly and very sensitive.

I still have nagging feelings that he is with someone else??? these have been compounded by him not coming with his mobile and to talk on the monday .....I feel he is never going to make contact with me as it is easier for him not to and he will never answer my questions.......would appreciate any thoughts........as I am so confused with everything.....x