Hi everyone,

I don't post on here very often for a variety of reasons...fear of anonymity (or lack thereof,) rejection, vulnerability, etc., but I'm feeling bleak and am afraid it's going to be a tough for awhile, so I thought I'd check in. It's hard for me to know what to say right now. Even typing this fairly benign message feels terribly vulnerable, so mad props to those of you who post regularly! But, I know I need support and so far, I have found it difficult to open up to people in "real life" so I better start looking elsewhere to cover my bases...you guys seem like a wonderful, supportive group, and I do read almost every thread on here even when I don't respond!

Typically, when things get hard, my first urge is to disappear. I love my therapist and we have a great relationship but it's hard for me to connect with her (or anyone) right now, even though I need it more than ever. I just want to shrink inside myself, it feels safer than reaching out! So...I guess I'm just trying to do the opposite of what my head says....

PE