I've struggled with this for awhile. I decided to deal with my feelings on this because the pain causes me to binge. I love my sister. She lived in the same town as my parents. So she and her adult children seemed to be called first.

When my Mom died 3 years ago, my sister didn't call me until after her death even though there was a week where she could have called. I would have been there helping and supporting. By her actions, I never got to pray for my Mom, help ease her pain, nothing. The situation came out at the funeral - and I just about died from the pain of it. I was unbelieveable shocked. I even then didn't hear it from my sister. I though "how could I be so out of the loop" that I had no clue. How stupid could I be?

I begged my sister to call me if my father went in the hospital at the time of my Mom's passing. However, she didn't. My father was 2 days in passing. My very Christian Reformed brother-in-law didn't contact me until after either. I asked my brother-in-law "how could you support my sister in this, it is so against our faith" He said " my loyalty is to my wife first and God second."

I hope to heal from the pain of this. My parents passing was painful enough. My sister wanted to be the "only" child.
She got her wish.