I can understand wanting the official dx. I havnt yet, however my doctor has put me on a plan to explore BPD and bipolar. I know its not bipolar because my perspective and moods can change in the blink of an eye, and I am almost extremes of all 9 classic symptoms of BPD save suicide or self harm..

Anyhoo, I can relate because if you are given, for lack of better terminology, a name to your condition it all seems like there can be a workable solution somehow (which is hopeful).. but if there is no name, I feel.. I might actually be like everyone one else but just cant pull myself together enough to control my emotions. And after over 20 years of trying to control my emotions and asking myself "WTF is wrong with me?" I really don't want it to be about "just not pulling it together enough to be like everyone else." I used to ask anyone who would listen.. "How do you do it??" They would just shrug and say they "just do" or along those lines... that made me feel even more bazaar, pathetic and useless. Or worse, when someone says "Oh I struggle with feelings like that all the time, you're not unusual, I just don't let it affect me." and I am like. "AAAAAGGGHHH!!!!! But How!!!??!"

So an official diagnoses means to me.. not an excuse but a reason for tormenting myself and other all these years.