Hi all

before i get going, i just want to say that i understand why this post may be deleted, i dont mind if it is, i just need to say a few things.

i am at crossroads in my life, i am at the beginning of a new destiny for myself, a good one.

i would like to hold on to PC, and use it for what it was built so brilliantly for. but i feel i have to go.

why?

because PC has evolved, and there is no longer a place for me here anymore. i can accept that, sure, its hard to accept it, but i have to. like i said, PC has evolved, and has changed so much since i joined. i am undecided whether it is for the best or not thorugh my eyes, but as i feel right now, i dont think i can be emotionally attatched anymore.

i have become aware of a tension rapidly sweeping through these forums. and i know that two threads have been made by KD and DocJohn discussing this - i did try to post my opinion but the thread was locked before i could. this, however, is not what i want this thread to be about.

im upset that PC isnt hat it used to be. it used to be a community of supporters. and i cant stress enough how SO MANY OF YOU STILL ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE, but it has a different feel about it. and for some unknown reason i feel increasingly worried of any posts i make so as i dont offend anyone.

anyone who knows me knows that this thread has no bad intentions, and has no insults to anyone, no "digs" or "jabs" at anyone either. to date i have got on with everyone here, that i am aware of. i havent been involved in a dispute with anyone before. and i want it to stay that way. "quit whilst im ahead" is the phrase that comes to mind. i dont believe i am capable of hurting anyone, i dont even try. i have grown up witnessing such violent behavior and physical and verbal attacks, i know first hand how destructive it is and how it can destroy bridges un-necessarily. i have lost many loved ones too, ones i will never, ever, get to say anythign to again. i know that life is precious, and we get one shot to get it right. we may trip up and stumble sometimes, but we, as individuals, are all capable of picking ourselves up and moving on.

i would be incredibly naive if i was to say that life is perfect if we make it, because i know that isnt true. i know full well that isnt true. but i do know that most friendships and relationships can be repaired if people want them to be.

i hate conflict, i hate arguements, i hate tension and negativity. as a creative person i find if suffocating. like i said at the start of the post, i am beginning a new journey of my life which i need positivity for, to succeed and stay healthy.

i dont want to leave PC, thats why im removing myself from threads, but remaining at the other end of a pm, should anyone need me. i have friends here that i love and respect, and i would never turn my back on them. and i kow i will be forgotten soon enough. i have hardly contributed much to this site in my time here.

i feel invisible here, not due to anyone, just my own personal state of mind. i feel invisible, and no longer accepted here. i know this is all in my head, but i dont seem to be finding the answers here that i need. i just see upset and tension. that helps no one.

we all deserve happiness, each and every one of us. we deserve support, love and care from eachother here. it shouldnt be about disputes and rows.

i am aware that this post may create negative response, which is why id like to quote a saying:

"if you have nothing positive to say, just say nothing"

i dont want my last post for a long time to be about arguements. to be remembered as a catalyst to spark rows and continue disagreements, and if any of you respect me, you wont use this for that.

this post is a goodbye, and an explanation as to why i am withdrawing from the forums. i would liked to have stayed longer, but i feel left behind in an ever-evolving community. who knows, tomorrow i might want to post, whether it be a reply or a start of a new thread. who knows what tomorrow brings. all i know is that life is too short and too valuble to spend it arguing and being suffocated by negativity. ive learnt that lesson well.

so, if any of you want to stay in touch, you are more than welcome, and i mean that from the bottom of my heart. and i will be staying in touch. i will be keeping my eye on you guys!

so, until i feel able to return, until i get back to the right mental state, this is a goodbye to a majority of you. i wish you ALL good fortunes, happiness and love.

simon