I told my T that I won't go back to anymore meetings,I've been struggling recently.....here goes:

I was in recovery for my ED for 37 days,with a few relapses and going to meetings,but I've recently just stopped going to meetings,fell off "the wagon" and back to my behaviors also seeing less and less of my T. I feel so hopeless to ever be done with it,to get up every day and force myeslf to eat,to beg myself not to have a bad day with the voices inside my head.

It feels like no point in recovery anymore.

I was on this hope that after 21 days I would be better and everything would start to look and feel better but I felt as though the meetings weren't making me better,I was trying to eat meals but it was still difficult and I was so overwhelmed with everything I didn't know how else to cope but to run back to my negative habits and self destructive ways as my family and T calls it.

I don't know what I'm looking for here...I guess just understanding.

I've had a lot happen to me these last few weeks and I'm slowly crashing and running back towards my ED.

Any tips?
Anyone felt or have felt this way before?
How did you pull through?
Has anyone gone to EDA meetings? Did it help?

Anything is welcomed here