I feel as though the last few weeks have been hell on heels for me. My depression has come to an all time low. The worst part is,when the people in my life believe I'm faking it,believe I'm just looking for attention,that "it's not that bad" that I can just "get over it" "just be happy".

Depression for me can be from,staying in bed all day for days at a time,not taking a shower,brushing my teeth,eating or doing any of the adult things I should be doing in my life or it can be internalizing my pain inwards and causing self inflicting pain on myself.

When I do decided to force myself out of bed even for an hour and try to interact myself with others,it's like "oh you weren't really depressed" little do they know at the end of the night,I'm usually crying myself to sleep. I'm usually curled up in a ball on my bathroom floor or I'm shutting every form of contact off from the world so they don't have to feel the pain I do also. I feel constantly empty,without purpose,asking myself,what is my purpose? Why am I here? Everything around seems so bland and boring,so empty and lifeless. No emotions,just numb.

So am I depressed or just emotionally unstable/moody? (I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality as well)

What is depression for you? How would you describe it?

I don't know how to get out of mine,I don't know how to not resort to self destructive ways and habits. Most of the time I just let it consume me with no hope of how it'll turn out,no care....don't mean to be depressing for anyone else,just would like some insite on others idea of depression.

My T says I should reach out to more people,and this is one step I suppose.

Any and all responses are welcomed