Some men make very poor choices in their lives & just don't know how to make wise choices.....the guy I married....I saw his poor choices before I got married & I wanted to call off the wedding....but my mother thought he was such a nice guy.....she ended up talking me into going ahead with the wedding.......the problem....the fighting went on because the things I didn't like before the wedding I didn't like after the wedding & throughout the marriage......it got really bad after I didn't have my career to hide away from him in after getting my degree. By that point I ended up trapped in the marriage & when depression hit, the anger from the bad marriage all came together & put me in a very bad place I didn't totally understand at the time.

I was finally able to excape the marriage after my mother died & I ended up with the inheritance.....I used it all to leave him.....33 years of wasted time even though we did have a daughter in the marriage.

I gave my H a chance to make the changes necessary to have a successful marriage.....but his choice was to believe that it was his personality & personalities can't be changed which after doing DBT....it nothing but BS....all personalities can be changed if the person wants to bad enough.

I'm guessing that even if he wants to come back & even if he's a nice guy like my stbxh was.....that there are serious personality issues that exist that will end up causing you to end up with major fighting going on if you do end up getting back together. I drew the lines that I would accept before we got married....but the damage that he had already done only made me fight against him continuously through the marriage because there was so much I really didn't like & wasn't willing to put up with....living in a marriage like that with a relationship like that was just pure hell. I realized that the damage that was done before we ever got married was something I couldn't let go of when we were married because he never changed or grew up.....even though he was wonderful with our daughter & took care of her because that was one thing I never wanted was children........our differences were just too great to ever recover from.

If he does come back to you....you need to do a lot of analysis & to start with, figure out just how much damage this has really done to your relationship in the overall long run attitude toward him....sometimes it's irrecoverable & even if he were to come back with all the nice promises......there can still be serious personality issues that exist that are a permanent part of him.

Wishing you the best for this.....& just make sure you focus on your baby & your life & really look at the big picture before making any major decisions when dealing with him in the future.