I remember being in a very bad place at work & it was right at this time of year & I had hoped that if I got to Christmas vacation & had the 2 weeks off of work that I would be able to gather myself back together.....by that point I was so messed up that I kept calling in sick after the new year.....& that was back in 1994 when we had the California Earthquake in Northridge & it ended up collapsing the freeway between where I lived & where I worked....that gave me a few more weeks off because there was no way I could physically get to work......then I tried to get back & it was a 6 hour drive one way. My problem at work was being trapped in a department that I hated the work & the director wouldn't allow me to transfer back to the technical engineering area that I really was ok with. I have noticed that any time a trapped feeling hits me, I totally fall apart any more......those were the first times I was ever trapped anywhere.....but I know that the feeling of being trapped in any situation does take it's toll of us psychologically & it's then when we think of the OD as our escape.....the only way out.....when in reality there are other ways but when we are feeling trapped, it tends to shut off the mind's thinking & makes it almost impossible to think through other possibilities.....like getting rid of other stressors so that we can handle the things that are important in our life.

Posting here is good.....something I didn't have available back in the days before internet.

My DBT group has also been another good therapy where before the T's I went through just sat there listening to me talk without feedback......they would call back if I called about feeling suidical & I had several who did call 911 & I ended up in the hospital....but the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy & have been doing since I left my H is wonderful....it teaches skills to be able to be mindful & aware of our thoughts & why we think our thoughts & skills to distract & other technicques to get through major distress situations....along with the mindfulness to figure out what changes are necessary to counteract the distress if at all possible......DBT also helps deal with emotions & skills to regulate them.....for me I never recognized all the emotions I felt other than anger.......& the other set of skills has to do with interpersonal effectiveness which deals with expressing what we know we need in a way that we can usually get the other people to understand & accept & not feel bad about expressing what we need.......all skills I realized I had never learned but some of which I had been using most of my life.....there was so much of the DBT that I was completely learning new & learning how to apply it to life.