today I took a walk and had no intention of coming back home...I disappeared for at least five hours and not a single soul noticed I was gone...I coulda easily blown my brains out with the same outcome yet my family doesn't understand why I always run away...im not wanted here... but you know whats pathetic, the pathetic thing is I came back...I came back to a place where im not wanted around but I am wanted to do everyone a "favor"...I mean it pleases me seeing the people I love happy but how can I love people who don't want to see me happy??? how can i aim to please those who cant be pleased no matter what i do...how can i make the people who only see my faults and failures see that im trying, not for me but for them...i mean that walk really got me thinking that i really don't live my life for me, but for others...and its so sad its sickening to think i try and try to get a smile out of someone to only get a witty remark or something negative towards me! i live only to amuse and yet my parents get mad when i call myself a clown or a fool because that is all i have ever been...so in closing i would just like to say that i proved my point that if i was gone, no one will notice or care