It sounds like you're doing everything possible to do well by you and your kids, which in my book makes you a good Mom. And I'm sorry but your mom seems verbally abusive. My T once told me that sometimes what people say to me might be a reflection of what they're truly feeling about themselves. So perhaps your Mom is feeling that she can do no right, that she's responsible for your misfortune and don't know how to cope with that feeling. I may be wrong, but try to distance yourself from it. Some people don't understand how much depression hurts and effects us.

If you ever need to talk to me PM me I'll give you my Email and what not. You're not alone.