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Originally Posted by shortandcute
Well, I was never taken very seriously by my siblings. I was pretty much bullied by most of them (not my 2 youngest sisters). And if I stood up for myself, things would get worse. I'd get laughed at, or yelled at for "over-reacting," "getting defensive." "arguementive," etc. Well, that kind of stuck. The attitude is still to not take me seriously because I'm the one who over-reacts, that I imagine things--"delusional" in a sense. So basically, if I stand up for myself, it's basically, "Oh, you're just imagining it." And that was before I was in therapy. I guess my daughter picked up that attitude from them. Now, that I'm in therapy, I guess my daughter thinks that I'm not supposed to ever get upset and that I should just let her run me over.
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This talk about over reacting, brings me, back to my childhood. 'Over reacting' 'Over sensitive', quick to cry.
Hope, you can pin point, precisely, the tones, words, etc, that upset you, when they say them. So, that , you can stone faced, look them, in the eye, and say, when you say this, or do this, I cannot help, but sense that you are picking on me, or whatever it is, that it leaves you feeling in the moment. As, to point out, that perhaps, it's not your reactions, that the real problem, but their behaviors!!!
No, you don't have to let her walk all over you. At all. And sometimes, when people get blamed for being argumentative, it's some sort of projection, from the other person.
Last week, I had to go to the cable company, in person. (example). I was sent a cable box, and new modem, as part of a promotion, but was told, I could return, it, if I didn't want it. Well, I go to return the cable box, the woman behind the counter, says, well, if I return this, your bill is going to go up, $15/month. I said, 'What?!" (perhaps, the influx, in my voice), then she proceeded to tell me, 'well, I can see you are getting upset.' ....I raised an eye brow, not my tone of voice. I pointed out, I just wanted to be on the internet plan, that I'd had. Oh, no, that was just a 6 month promotion, how long have you been at your place, only since October? ((Try sept 09))...I took, the cable box, went outside, and called customer service, and got it all set, so that I could walk that blasted cable box, right back in, without worrying about my bill changing. So, was it really me, who was 'upset' because I asked what, to a raised bill? Or was it her projecting all her junk all over me??