Hi Mactastic ....welcome to PC.

You are just at the beginning of a long journey. Why worry about the end now?

I totally understand those feelings you have for your T... Many people experience that and are able to work through ....and the intensity of those feelings lessen. I totally understand the fear of abandonment that you feel...

You sound like you have a really good t...and I'm sure when he told you that ending would be on your terms so that you would feel more control and to lessen those fears of abandonment and not so you will try to decide how it should all go now...

Start by trusting your t and the process and you will see the changes you want to happen over time.