This is awkward and embarrassing to share. I didn’t know where to place this topic.

Ever since I was a child I’ve been unnerved by lotion on my skin.

I am of a darker hue so I have to wear it too look polished not ashy. Plus I have dry skin.

I can’t seem to wear lotion because I feel like I’m never clean enough. I feel like I will be masking dirt by putting lotion on top of dirt. No matter if I shower.

In addition, I can't wear bras in comfort because I feel like I’m not clean enough. As though the clean bra is rubbing against my dirty skin.

When I put lotion on and a bra, I feel so uncomfortable. I want to cry, fear, skin crawling, sweating, nervousness.