You googled your T again, because if you didn´t continue with your patterns, there would be no reason to be in T and you wouldn´t have anything to talk to her about or post in here?
You have gained alot of insight, know what to do and not to do. I am not sure anyone but you can make you change or give you a magical answer. Seriously Googling a T is something most of us do. It´s not a big deal and since you didn´t ring her doorbell, why spend time analyzing and ruminating about it.
It´s all about choices and the decisions you make or don´t make on a dailey basis, by now. (IMO)