BPA, if I remember correctly, you often have lengthy breaks between sessions, and a lot of uncertainty about whether you can keep seeing him? If that's true, the fact that you could be so open and revealing is pretty amazing. Maybe it's not a real power imbalance that worries you, but just the heightened vulnerable feelings after being revealing that shake your feeling of connection. I think a lot of trust is related to consistency, so when you can't have consistency, the relationship starts to feel skewed. But it really is a perception, more than a reality.