Checking in on :The Long Journey Back:

Me and Whitney had a talk when I was driving her across town. (we are both anerexic and bullimic's) We know that we starve too much. We cry together on it.

We discuss our hopeless feeling. She and I tend to be large girls. We are genetically from larger girls. We can't eat normally and "get away with it."

It makes us mourn together often. Both of us are very interesting women. We are into art, writing, and romance. We are young spirited as well.

We don't have a quick answer to good healthy eating. We know what we should do. Often the two of "Us" never do it. I told my steady at the resturant last nite, at 10 pm that it was my first meal. His face fell terribly. It hurts my family seeing me do this to myself.

I am not going or doing great at all. I have to start a class in spring and failed at it before cause of the furthered advance e.d. this year. I smoke too much, eat very little, and do impulsive things too darned much.

What a terrible thing. I have caught myself eating "very healthy natural foods when I do eat, and am very proud of myself."

I eat very very healthy food when I do eat. That is the long journey that I am getting back. I keep comming back to the journey, because I really want to live, and be extremely well. I "can" get well. Darn it is slow though. Love Razeljenny