Basically, I have been beating myself up, blaming myself, stressed out, not paying attention to my particular needs, feeling suicial, I've been very depressed. I haven't been doing anything except go through day by day doing nothing, rotting on my bed and sleeping the pain away, for a very, very long time. I didn't bother counting how long. This was all because of my ex who has found someone else and is trying to be friends with me, even though I desperately needed to rebuild my life. He was trying to be nice to me, but I couldn't take it anymore. The nicer he was, the stronger his grip on me and I couldn't move on. Does anyone ever feel that way?

Everytime I see his name on facebook I just want to puke and die. One night, I cried more than usual, the type of crying was "can't even breathe and my sides hurt so bad and need to vomit but can't stop crying and spewing" kind. I finally blocked him on facebook. It may not be a big step to some, but it was a very, very big step for me. Facebook to me, i have associated it with a lot of memories with him. He must hate me a lot right now. Truthfully, I feel a little scared. I feel curious about his life (and I force myself not to, because it will only hurt more)...right now, I feel empty. I don't know what to do if I should meet him in real life. I feel empty, a void with nothing in it. Previously there was pain, now there's nothing. I don't know if it's good or not, but I have a bad feeling about this.

Any thoughts, advice, opinion,feedback....please. Regarding dealing with myself, or anything relevant.