rain you mentioned at one point it was part of an OCD thing ... that it was one reason you were trying meds and also the dbt
have you tried tracking what happens if you don't look her up when the urge comes?
eg does it grow stronger, is there a physical reaction, can you think of anything else or is the thought of looking her up all you can hold on to?
when you find something is there a sense of relief before the worry starts up or is the relief once you have told her about it ...
can you find a point where the urge leaves or isn't as strong and tell why that happens?