Thank you, tigergirl. These are all excellent questions. I have to think about them but let me see what I come up with right now.

The urge to look her up happened again since we decided that I should be on PC only twice/week. I'm breaking that rule today because it's not so black and white as that. What I told T is that I kept checking constantly, FB and PC, and that triggered my anxiety. I'm not checking so much, so that part of the problem isn't present right now. I'm doing other things in my life, too.

I think the urge grows stronger until I actually do it. If I had to be off the computer and was out of the house, I'd be okay but I think I would have done it when I got home. I'm not sure. I also have to be triggered to do it. I'm not doing it now. It was T saying that I don't see her in her everyday life or whatever it was she said, which I can't remember exactly.

Maybe it's a form of SI because once I do it, I feel better physically but then I feel guilty, and it still doesn't feel like I know enough. The last time she told me not to google her, I didn't, for some months. I think that was during the summer. I stopped looking up her H and kids on FB too. It seems like once I get the urge, I have to act on it. T doesn't mind but she just says it's not good for me.

I found her new address over a month ago, and sat with that information. When it was convenient, I drove past her house. Once. No OCD, and I didn't tell her. The urge was to see where she lives, and that was all. I was satisfied afterwards. But, with googling, it just makes me want to do more, to see "what else I can find about her". It doesn't have an end. There could be something new at any time, and I am curious about it.

Thank you for giving me questions to think about and not judging me, tigergirl.