Sky, I think I am very ill and if I stand around waiting for them to come through I may be dead. I may not be all that sick and if I go in there and I am not any more ill then I have been for the past few weeks what does that mean? Have I been hitting the bottle with out knowing? I am tired and scared. Your message helps, really it does, but what do I do with the feeling of needing to be safe in Doc's office and realizing that I am not emotionally safe. If they hold ill thoughts for me how can I not be triggered? Are you saying I have to pretend to believe that they are not getting to me while I politely continue to advocate for what I need? It's a big office and part of the hospital's managed care system, It was better before that happened.

Also I have nade 2 complaints now with the hospital and/or staff, One was how I was treated in the E.R. During an accute back spasm time. I also complained that the ortho PA missed stuff on ex-rays thus allowing for several more days of intense pain. I simply told him how I felt about the care I did not get and the horrendous pain.

I think I need to be led by the nose here.