I'm curious, Rainbow, if you've ever followed your fantasy of knowing about T to its fullest? Have you imagined how you'd feel if you knew just about everything? What she eats for breakfast, what books she reads, what her favorite hobbies are, who her friends are, what her pet peeves are, what issues she needs to work on in her interpersonal relations, what her favorite subject was in school, who she admires, what was the last movie she saw, which toothpaste she buys, what's her favorite meal to cook, how she likes to decorate her house, and on and on.

So, when you imagine you know everything about her, what does that feel like?

And what about the things you learn that you don't like? What if you learn that she suffers from anxiety or depression? What if you learn that she loves to speed on the highway? Or what if she can't keep friends because she's flaky? Or if she has control issues or eats only toast and butter every morning? What if she's fixated on a celebrity that you despise or loves to read magazines that have no appeal for you?

I have a very good friend who is a therapist and her clients might be shocked with the emotional difficulties she struggles with. She's very good at her job and has a waiting list but she suffers from her own abandonment issues. What if you discovered your T is really not perfect like she has been telling you?

Although a therapist probably will not feel the burden, I think to put someone on a pedestal is a disservice to the one being placed on such an altar. And it can only cause harm to the one who is looking up. Eventually the recipient of that adulation will tumble and the shock of that fall from the pedestal could be devastating.

I hope the best for you, Rainbow.