Just struggled through weekend with my son, I love him so much but lately it is all I can do to put on the happy face and give him a good weekend. He's only 13 and I know he knows how bad things are he asks me 100 times a day if I'm ok. I'm far from ok and he knows and I don't know what to do. I am at the end and when I lose him I know I'll be lost, in one way I'm waiting for it to happen and think I will feel relief but I'm terrified of what will happen. At that point I will have lost everything I ever had then I will be really lost.